and One Liners
would you get if you crossed a dog with a valentine card?
A card that says, "I love you drool-ly!"
did the painter say to her boyfriend?
"I love you with all my art!"
does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
He gives it a valenshine!
you love me more than you love sleep?"
"I can't answer now. It's time for my nap!"
did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
"I've got a crutch on you!"
you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
It was a case of guppy love.
do you call two birds in love?
you call a very small valentine?
did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
"Be my valenstein!"
did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending?
Because they needed to be ad-dressed!
do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
Hog and kisses!
What would you get
it you crossed Odie with the God of love?
A stupid cupid!
Why did the pig
give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine's Day!
Do skunks celebrate
Sure, they're very scent-imental!
What did the
chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
"I'm sweet on you!"
What did the paper
clip say to the magnet?
"I find you very attractive."
What did the French
chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A hug and a quiche!
What would you call
a woman who goes out with Jon?
What did one pickle
say to the other?
"You mean a great dill to me."
What did the
elephant say to his girlfriend?
"I love you a ton!"
What did the bat
say to his girlfriend?
"You're fun to hang around with."
Did you hear about
the nearsighted porcupine?
He fell in love with a pincushion!
What did the pencil
say to the paper?
"I dot my i's on you!"
Liz: "I can't
be your valentine for medical reasons."
Liz: "Yeah, you make me sick!"
Why did the
cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
She didn't suit his taste!
Why do valentines
have hearts on them?
Because spleens would look pretty gross!
Why didn't Cupid
shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart?
Because even Cupid can't hit a target that small!
Why should you send
your sweetie a valentine?
Because you always heart the one you love!
Howard you like a great big kiss?
What did one light
bulb say to the other?
"I love you a whole watt!"
What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
Ughs and kisses!