Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !
How do you
make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?What do you
have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
him a joke on Christmas Eve !
The letter "D" !
Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?What do you
call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !
delievers cat's Christmas presents ?Why does
Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !
delievers elephants's Christmas presents?How many
chimney does Father Christmas go down ?
Elephanta Claus !
Why is Santa
like a bear on Christmas Eve ?
he's Sooty !
Q: Why is
Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the
What do you
get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective ?
Santa Clues !
Christmas win a saucepan in a competition.What do the
reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday ?
thats what you call pot luck !
Freeze a jolly good fellow !
What do you
call a man who claps at Christmas ?Twinkle
Twinkle chocolate bar
Santa drives a rusty car
Press the starter
Press the choke
Off he goes in a cloud of smoke !
does Father Christmas call his money ?
Iced lolly ?
Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering
did the guest sing at the Eskimo's Christmas party ?
Freeze a jolly fellow !
party game did Jekyll like best
you hear about the man who went to the fancy dress party as a bone ?
and Seek !
A dog ate him in the hall !
would you do if you saw Dracula, Frankenstein & The Swamp Thing
couldn't the butterfly go to the Chistmas ball ?
they were going as a fancy dress party !
It was a moth ball !
did the chickens dance at the Christmas party ?Did
you hear about Dracula's Christmas party ?
to chick !
It was a scream !
you hear about the party with lots of fireworks, balloons &
did Dracula say at the Christmas party ?
It went with a bang !
Fancy a bite ?
couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ?
had no body to go with !
Top 10 signs you bought a bad christmas
10. Two feet tall, forty feet wide
9. Salesman's opening line: "You're not a cop, are you?"
8. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers
stuck into it
7. While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a
6. Each branch has "Duraflame" printed on it
5. Keeps heckling while you try to do a lame top ten list
4. It's very small and says "Air Freshener" on it
3. Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours
2. Some guy named Mujibur puts a cheap Statue of Liberty on top of it
1. Constantly bragging about its "trunk size"